Thursday, July 20, 2006
Everyone......out of the gravy!!!
Frozen in fear I wait for the gleaming embrace. My short life in The Endless Ocean Of Gravy passed before my eyes. What have I done with the time I have been given? Have I used my time wisely in my search for life, activity, and adventure or have I spent it pissing about, daydreaming, and drinking gravy like some Oscar Wilde bachelor paradise? "You alright?" I am suddenly shocked out of my savory repose. "Excuse me." I respond, still off put by the unexpected derailing of my dramatic death scene. "Don't worry lad, it may never 'appen." "What?" I scintillate. "What?" I try again. "Look lad, you got a face like a kid who got a sock full of arseholes for your birthday." "I thought you were going to eat me." I say pleadingly. At this he suddenly turns away and I swear I see below the black and soulless eye an single tear. My fear has melted into confusion and pity and mild stomach upset. Like my mother always said, "Nothing cuts the gravy like the tears of a be-suited shark", as they took her away. Any words are caught in my throat before I can utter them as racking sobs send currents through the gravy like the aftermath of an undersea landslide. But this is no natural disaster. This is the release of pent up sadness and frustration the like of which is rarely witnessed by living souls. In an attempt to shield my own self from the wounds so often inflicted by the capriciousness of a cruel and unpredictable world, I have in turn wounded another. He finally turns to me and speaks. "I have loved, and I have lost. I have lied to those I cared about, and I have lied to myself. I have made amends where I was able, and I have come to terms with my own conscience. The only 'arm I 'ave ever done was to a kidney pie and a pint of Olde Peculiar Dark Ale. I love the birds, and who does'nt? No harm no foul. I am The Land Shark, and I am not an animal."