Friday, May 01, 2009

A Word From Edmond Groat

Hello good Ladies and Gentlemen. I am Edmond Groat and I am a business associate of the owner and propagator of this fine web log to which you are currently giving your attention. I have taken it upon myself to hire out space on this site until my current revenue minus expenses ratio reaches a point where I can negotiate the vending of a personal computer, an Internet account, a table, a chair, a wall socket, a wall, and electricity. Recent economic conditions have rend asunder my various investments and ventures. My consulting firm closed it's doors for good after some unpleasantness with a malfunctioning shoe buffer and some poor judgment on my part regarding some fake $250 bills. I had assumed that my astute business acumen would be in demand among the financial elite, but I was quickly and soundly undone by certain difficulties on my part involving, legalities, international trade pacts, generally accepted accounting principals, telephones, decimal places, long division, and fainting. I have since taken many hard lessons to heart and moved on to my strength as a product developer. I will admit that I got off to a rough start. My Arthur Fonzerelli Grill was ahead of its time I'm afraid (The grease just drains awAaayyyyy) . The world was not ready for the Trouser Crock Pot ("Who wants pants stew") and I daresay it ever will be. Funky Funerals (Who dead up in here?) lacked the interest I was sure was in abundance. And of course, I was premature in my belief that the world wanted a nasaly administered laxtive (Momma needs a Sniffy Plop? Yeah Yeah!!!). But I can assure you the I am nothing if not persistent and I will not let failure, bankruptcy, incarceration, restraining orders, Papal censures, or death threats keep me from bringing the most exciting and unexpected products into your homes. So keep any eye on this space and prepare to be amazed and stunned.

Yours Truly

Edmond Groat

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